Don't Call... Just Send Chocolate

My household has been sick in one form or another since before Ash Wednesday. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if we don't recover until Easter. I haven't been to Mass, Sunday or daily, since February 19th and I'm getting a little nervous about this Sunday. We're all feeling a lot better but I just can't seem to stop coughing.

Please don't call me. It's terrible. I've been hanging up on everyone to deal with coughing fits. I cough until I almost throw up and then I have terrible sneezing jags. It would be funny if it weren't so miserable. My face is puffy and I think I threw my back out. The kids peek around corners and gently ask if I'm okay. I try to say "No" but all that comes out is "NyaaaackHackHackSpluck".

I am past the point of caring if anyone knows that all of my Lenten promises bit the dust. Not one is left standing (except a rather vague "pray more. work harder")... superseded by fatigue and necessity. Daily Mass, Friday Stations, etc.? I hardly remember what my parish church looks like. Every year, I also give up sweeties.... and for now, I am now crossing that one off of my list as well.

Several minutes ago, I slumped into the office chair (with my eyes dripping, tissues falling and chest convulsing), desperately googling cough remedies. Honey has a great rep but I just can't stand it right now. I've joined Crash in my insistence that it will certainly come up again if I try to get it down. Cough syrup is not particularly effective for me.

Then I see a beautiful headline:

A Study Finds that Theobromine, A Substance in Chocolate, May Be the Safest and Most Effective Cough Suppressant

SERIOUSLY?? Bang! *That's the sound of my final Lenten resolution hitting the floor*

Theobromine levels are directly proportionate to the cocoa content in chocolate, meaning dark chocolate is the best for suppressing coughs. Read more here. Dark chocolate just happens to be one of my favorite treats so this scenario is not ideally Lenten. But there does come a time to just eat the chocolate.  

The rest of my family seems to be recovering well now and I suspect that my delay is due, in part, to the asthma that I struggle with as the weather warms and the green stuff grows. So, in addition to dark chocolate, I'm adding long, hot showers to my Lenten practices. It sounds a little backwards, I know. You can lecture me via comments or email if you like. Whatever you do...

.... please don't call. Just send chocolate.

Posted on March 7, 2012 and filed under "Lent", "chocolate".