Jury Duty... Stocking up on Orange Hi-C

As if life isn't crazy enough for me as a full-time caregiver/educator of six children ages 1 to 14 with all of the blessed chaos that comes with that job... I am now the full-time caregiver/educator of six children who has been summoned to JURY DUTY. My civic duty. Which I long to fully embrace and cheerfully undertake... in a few years. Know what I'm saying? I have so many good reasons for a lengthy postponement, and yet not one of them is a technically acceptable reason for exemption in my county. Not breastfeeding. Not primary caregiving. Not homeschooling. Not my-car-is-making-funny-noises-and-besides-it's-the-only-one-all-the-kids-fit-in-and-how-will-they-get-to-their-lessons-and-and-dental-visits. Not the fact that our sole income provider would have to take off work to care for and teach the kids. 

Please understand. I want to be on a jury someday. I think I should be on one. But there are lots of people in my county who can serve right now without the extreme stress and difficulty this would cause my family. In fact, my wonderful father-in-law offered to go for me... but I don't think they do that kind of bargaining.  I will make my appeal to the judge and am feeling pessimistic. After extensive internet research, I've drafted my first letter. I'm still tweaking it. What do you think?

Dear Sir or Madam,


I would like to do my civic duty but I cannot in good conscience leave my poor husband in the care of our six darling hooligans for a week or more. They will tear him to pieces and he will only make matters worse by feeding them McDonald's, frozen waffles, and orange Hi-C at every meal. I know this is true because it happened during our last family emergency. He also needs to be at his job every day but perhaps he could just transport the orange Hi-C in a big cooler in the back of the car... right next to the package of diapers.


On top of that, I'm supposed to be teaching them and if you've been following my blog, you know that I'm working very hard at starting our first year of high school on the right foot. The timing of this summons is remarkably perfect for totally disrupting that plan. If I am not home, my teenager will no doubt spend that entire week doing nothing but playing angry birds and he will never get into law school.


In addition to the difficulties I've already mentioned, my 1-year old is still nursing and he will not understand why I am missing all day everyday. He will likely cry, which will cause my 4-year old to cry... and really, that is just sad.


Sincerely,
Melody


P.S. Did I mention that I would likely be late every day because driving downtown for me is like driving through a cornfield on a unicycle? 


UPDATE:
For those of you who aren't sure... I'm not actually going to send this letter to the court. It's a little blog joke. Also, I am highly confident in my husband's abilities to care for the children. His version of Green Eggs and Ham (complete with cool Sean Connery accent) is the best I have ever heard and he cooks a mean hamburger. :)

Posted on July 27, 2012 and filed under "jury duty".