How to {Not} Handle Stress in 7 Quick Takes...

I've mastered the art of handling periods of high stress. I practiced diligently this week. And now I will share my wisdom with you so that you can be as awesome as I am...

1) Make sure that you wind yourself up so tightly with anxiety that when it comes time to communicate matters of great importance with various people in highly public places, you can do nothing but cry.

2) Plan to procrastinate. Make sure that you miss every single deadline you have. This will add drama and excitement to the overall stressful experience. Lessons in humility will be increased while you frustrate people and damage professional and personal trust. This is called being refined and it is pretty effective in light of eternal goals.

3) Eat a bunch of food that you know will make you sick. Feeling bloated, achy, flu-ish, and cranky is very consistent with an anxious demeanor and at least helps people in your life know to back off before you throw something in their general direction.

4) Spend less time with your little people as you pace and fret and make adult phone calls. Then when they go nuts from lack of careful direction, you can all cry together on the kitchen floor when you lose your tempter.

5) Make sure to stay up all night worrying about things you can't control. I mean, if you can't be at peace and cast your cares on the Lord, at least do your best to figure out every single possible way you can try to fix it without Him. Then when you fall asleep you'll dream about it, too, and not one hour will be wasted in fruitless rest.

6) Retail therapy. Buying useless stuff always temporarily soothes the soul that is hungering for eternal things. At least long enough to get you to the next period of anxiety without having to deal with your deep-seated lack of trust in God's providence.

7) Spend lots of time on the internet watching people fight about what bloggers did or did not say about suicide and border babies. If you're not already on Facebook, join up so that you can drink in the anxiety. Don't worry about your dishes or laundry... they'll take care of themselves.

*Important Bonus Take*
Neglect prayer. This is a sure way to descend as quickly as possible to the depths of dark anxiety. It's a terrible place to dwell, but at least there's a lot of compassion to be had online. Find a good meme and cling to it, people!

Joining up with Jen at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes. And approaching the weekend with renewed humility and prayerfulness!

Posted on August 15, 2014 and filed under Womanhood.