What Happens on Instagram Stays on Instagram...

What happens on Instagram stays on Instagram... unless you are following me there or I dump it here. So far, I haven't met a social media venue that I don't like (except for Twitter) and am in constant danger of losing myself all day in them (except for Twitter). The good news is that I have managed to figure out how to use social media outlets as tools that have a functional and enjoyable place in my life (except for Twitter).

I initially avoided Instagram like the plague, imagining it to be something it wasn't. Now, it is in my top three online places to waste time. Did I say waste? I meant to say.... utilize my online time as effectively and prudently as possible through excellent disciplinary practices.  Ahem.

My Instagram account is private (to limit the loonies) but odds are pretty good that I'll accept your friend request if you send me one. In the meantime, I'm sharing some of what I have posted there below. Consider it my running visual commentary on life. You really don't want to miss it. These are some of the amazing tips and treasures you'll glean...

Parenting tips: When your toddler throws a hairy fit at Grandma and Grandpas, always sit on the kitchen floor with her and share a bowl of M & M's. Unequaled parental excellence. This serves a dual purpose of teaching your daughters to solve all problems with chocolate.

Church Etiquette: Always take pictures in church with your gaudy purple ipad. The people behind you will be totally inspired by your devotion and prayers will always be enhanced by your fixation on capturing the moment. Post the pic on Instagram to immortalize the first Mass your toddler allowed you to stay in church for in at least a year. (Seriously, such a blessing. Thank you, Jesus.)

Fashion Advice: Always wear your favorite pocketed trapeze dress to church, even after you discover that it's probably several inches too short. Cover your face in shame when you post it to Instagram. It's the Lenten anti-selfie... where you will post an embarrassing pic in order to invite accountability and advice.

Photography Mentoring: Everything looks awesome in black and white. You, too, can pretend to have decent photography skills. Filter! Filter! (This, by the way, is my newly crowned third teenager. Must gram this moment.)

In-the-Moment DIY: Make sure to show everyone what you are doing right now... even if it is a complete fail. A good photo covers all in the internet world and makes everyone post cool emojis. Leave them in ignorance if you blow it. This, by the way, is my first attempt at DIY make-up. I have not given up... I have just... stalled.

Pro-life Witness: I have no sarcasm for this. This is just awesome. Be a witness wherever you can. This is a shot of teen girls sewing bereavement garments and diapers for babies gone too soon and the families grieving the loss. I hope they inspire people. They sure inspired me. 

Clean Living Motivation: Keep posting those DIY's and eventually you'll strike upon true success. Don't feel compelled to let anyone know the real reason you made so many. Let them think that you share them with others because of your marvelous benevolence... instead of revealing that you made them all for yourself to compensate for your terrible inclination to lose them. 

Now, if you don't have an Instagram account and think you'd love one, I agree. Get on that! And while you're there, don't hesitate to look me up. It is truly a joy to share in the lives of so many wonderful people.

Posted on February 24, 2015 .